What are grave clothes? Lazarus and letting go

When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, Lazarus walked out of the tomb still wrapped up. His hands and feet were bound with graveclothes, as the NKJV puts it, and there was a cloth round his face (John 11:44).

What grave clothes were

John later describes how Jesus’s own body was wrapped in strips of linen with spices. He says this was in keeping with Jewish burial customs (John 19:40). Grave clothes were made for the dead. Nobody expected a living person to be wearing them.

The story in John 11

Lazarus lived in Bethany with his sisters, Mary and Martha. When he became ill, the sisters sent word to Jesus (John 11:1-3). Jesus loved this family. Even so, when he heard Lazarus was ill, he stayed where he was for two more days (John 11:5-6).

When Jesus first heard the news, he said the illness would not lead to death, and that it was for the glory of God (John 11:4). Mary and Martha still had to live through the waiting and the grief.

By the time Jesus arrived, Lazarus had been in the tomb for four days (John 11:17). Both sisters said the same thing to Jesus: if he had been there, their brother would not have died (John 11:21; John 11:32). Jesus told Martha that he is the resurrection and the life (John 11:25).

When Jesus saw Mary weeping, he was troubled in spirit, and he wept too (John 11:33-35). At the tomb he asked for the stone to be taken away. Martha warned him there would be a bad smell after four days (John 11:39). Jesus prayed, then called in a loud voice for Lazarus to come out (John 11:41-43).

Lazarus came out. Then Jesus spoke to the people standing around:

“Loose him, and let him go.” (John 11:44, NKJV)

Alive and still bound

Lazarus was alive. He was also still wrapped in things that belonged to the tomb. Jesus did the miracle. Then he gave the people around Lazarus a job to do.

The same can be true of people today. You can have new life in Christ and still carry things from before. Paul writes that anyone who is in Christ is a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17). Learning to live like it can take a lot longer.

What grave clothes can look like now

In episode 4 of Tea Time With Thandie, Grave Clothes, Thandie works through John 11:1-44. She talks about carrying grave clothes into a new season, and about how attachment can be mistaken for identity.

Grave clothes might be:

• An old label you still answer to, even though it no longer fits
• A way of coping that helped you get through something but now holds you back
• A relationship or habit you keep because it feels familiar
• Bitterness about something that happened years ago
• A version of yourself you keep performing for other people

It is worth asking yourself what you are still wearing that belongs to an old season.

How to let go

1. Name it. It is hard to take off something you will not look at. Write down what you think you are still carrying.
2. Let people help. Jesus asked the people around Lazarus to unwrap him. Let a trusted friend or a counsellor help you. If you have wondered about counselling, read Can Christians go to therapy?
3. Expect it to take time. Grave clothes come off a piece at a time.
4. Stand in your freedom. Paul writes that Christ has made us free. He tells the Galatians to stand fast in that liberty and not be entangled again (Galatians 5:1).
5. Start from who you are. What you have been through is part of your story. It does not have to define you. Read What does “identity in Christ” actually mean?

Letting go can bring up grief, even when the thing you are leaving was bad for you. Be patient with yourself. If old hurts keep coming back, What is emotional healing, and where do you start? is a good next read.

Some grave clothes are things we hide behind. Covering is not healing looks at that in Genesis 3.

Listen to the full episode, Grave Clothes, on Tea Time With Thandie.