What is emotional healing, and where do you start?

A broken arm is easy to see. Emotional pain is harder to spot and easier to ignore. You can keep going for years while something inside still hurts.

What emotional healing means

Emotional healing is the slow work of recovering from things that hurt you on the inside. That might be loss, rejection, abuse or a relationship that went wrong. You may always remember what happened. Healing is when it stops running your life.

It usually takes time, and it often needs other people.

What the Bible says

The Bible says a lot about God and people whose hearts are broken.

“He heals the brokenhearted And binds up their wounds.” (Psalm 147:3, NKJV)

Another psalm says the Lord is near to people whose hearts are broken, and saves those who have a contrite spirit (Psalm 34:18). Jesus invited everyone who labours and is heavy laden to come to him for rest (Matthew 11:28-29).

Healing in the Bible is often honest and slow. Psalm 62 tells God’s people to pour out their hearts to him (Psalm 62:8). Psalm 139 ends with the writer asking God to search him and know his heart and his anxieties (Psalm 139:23-24). Both are prayers you can borrow.

The Importance of Emotional Healing

In 2023, Thandie made a YouTube series called The Importance of Emotional Healing. Across four episodes, guests talked about experiences including racial abuse, body dysmorphia, foster care, toxic relationships and loss. You can find the series on the watch page.

Where to start

1. Name what happened. Write it down, or say it out loud to God. You do not need the right words.
2. Stop hiding it. Covering a wound is different from letting it heal. Read Covering is not healing for more on this.
3. Look after the basics. NHS Every Mind Matters suggests talking to someone and getting better sleep when your mood is low (NHS Every Mind Matters). It also has a free Mind Plan: you answer five questions and get practical tips (Every Mind Matters).
4. Talk to someone you trust. Choose someone who will listen without rushing to fix it.
5. Look at your relationships. Some hurt is still happening. If a relationship is harming you, read Signs of an unhealthy relationship and where to get help.
6. Get professional help if you need it. There is more on that below.

NHS Talking Therapies

If you live in England, you can refer yourself to NHS talking therapies for anxiety and depression without seeing a GP. You need to be 18 or over, or 16 or 17 in some areas. You do not need a diagnosis (NHS).

The NHS says these services may help if you have persistent low mood, often feel very anxious, have panic attacks or have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), among other things. When you refer yourself, you will be asked for the name of your GP surgery. If you are not registered with a GP, you may still be able to refer yourself in some areas.

For some conditions, such as eating disorders, you will usually need a GP to refer you (NHS).

Every Mind Matters says a low mood should lift after a few days. If it lasts longer than about two weeks, it may be a sign of depression. If low mood is affecting your daily life, call NHS 111 or talk to a GP (NHS Every Mind Matters).

If you are wondering whether counselling fits with faith, read Can Christians go to therapy?

Healing and your heart

Hurt can make a person guarded. Part of healing is staying open to God and to the right people. Read How to keep a soft heart after you’ve been hurt.

There is no deadline for healing. Some days will feel like progress and some will not. Keep bringing it back to God, and keep letting people in.

If you need help now

• If your life is at risk, or you do not feel you can keep yourself safe, call 999 or go to A&E (NHS).
• For urgent help with your mental health, call NHS 111 and choose the mental health option, or use 111 online.
• Call Samaritans free on 116 123, at any time of day or night.
• Text SHOUT to 85258 for free, confidential support by text, 24 hours a day (Shout).

For honest conversations about healing and faith, listen to Tea Time With Thandie.